Let’s say you wake up one day as Carnival’s official Brand Ambassador. You find out that Carnival is now selling wrapping paper with your face on it. Since you’re John “It Means Toilet” Heald, your first instinct might be, well, a toilet paper joke. But we have news for you, mate: you aren’t John. And let’s face it, his joke would have been funnier. But isn’t it amazing that that the other part of your dream has actually come true?! So buy a roll of this paper — wrapping paper, that is — for your holiday gifts this year. The folks on the receiving end will know they’re about to unwrap one brilliant present… or at least a hilarious gag gift.

• John Heald Wrapping Paper